Vacation in Portland

We love this city.  Portland has a ton of things to offer to it's residents and guests.  We ate like Gluten Free kings all week.  Our favorites were Sellwood Pizza Kitchen and Pastini Pasteria.  Both had extensive gluten free menus & everything was tasty. 

This trip came right at the 1 year mark for me living sans papa bear and I have learned that no matter how long you have with someone is never long enough and that my dad still influences my day.  Everything he taught me, every little habit he had, certain smells, all of it daily makes me think of him and who he was.  It also makes me want to live to be the daughter he can be proud of.  Portland was great that I was able to celebrate Dad's life in small ways.  For example, we went to a classic car show,  that's totally a dad thing.  I ate steamers at a seafood cafe and the last time I did that was years ago when I was little with Dad. Portland had so many good dads playing in the fountians or on the play ground with their kids it made me remember how my dad always ended up doing kid things with us.  He never grew too old to play or have fun with us.  Jeff and I can't wait to be those parents that take the different ways we were raised and have our own family. 

I am so thankful that I got to talk to my dad about this adoption thing.  I am thankful to know that he was proud. Encouraging. Supportive. 

Can't believe it's been a year already.

Waiting game

I know it's been forever since we have written anything on this blog.  There haven't been any updates.  We finished the main class and have been waiting for the Spaulding class to open up. Well, one unclear conversation and we are signed up for the class in November.  

It is really hard for me to have to wait for anything. Jeff is much more patient than I am.  That's why I love netflix,  there is no waiting.  You want the next episodeand BAM it's on.  I love that Jeff is good at waiting and slow to make a decision, I wish I was more comfortable with that. 

I want to met our son, start school with him, introduce him to our world, and start sharing this crazy love that I have for my family [Jeff and Abby] with this little guy.  But I have to wait and I have to be ok with waiting. 

Wish me luck~

O my goodness

At church this past week they talked about Mother's and Ryan, our pastor, read this poem that talked about all types of mothers, including adoptive.  It made me excited to be a part of some kiddo's life.  But as Jeff and I talked about this whole adoption process we feel that we are in the second part of three in finding our kid.  The first part was signing up, taking the classes, and getting the home study done.  Now, the second part, is searching, searching, searching.

This is what makes domestic adoption out of foster care so unique.  We have to search through each state's kids that are available for adoption and find ours.  It's so heart breaking to see all of the children with special needs, with sibling groups, with other issues that we don't know if we could handle.  Last night I saw a family of 8 kids up for adoption.  Could you imagine adopting 8 children at once? Having to help each child adjust to you and your husband while you learn how to adjust to them?  Oh my goodness. We are trying to search a little each night. But it seems impossible.  We sit at the computer, read through a 2 paragraph bio of this kid that has gone through hell and back and then what?  Are we supposed to be drawn to the picture?  Is there supposed to be an instant connection after reading the bio that we feel "This is the one"?  Do we say we are interested in a bunch of different kids and then move from there?

I feel completely lost on what to do next.  I look at the kids and seven out of ten of them I think "Maybe he's ours, or him or maybe that one".  I guess we just push the button that says we are interested and see what happens next.  This part of the process could be long, unending, overwhelming, and have many twists and turns in it.  Be patient with us. Be prayerful with us.

Shopping and more

Our worker told us to start getting a collection of clothes for the kiddos. We headed off to the store to find some cheap outfits to get the kids through the first couple of days while they are with us until we can go shopping to get more outfits.

Shopping for little ones is hard. Add in that we don't know them, their sizes, what they like, what colors they don't like...that's a lot of pressure. We will be able to take children from the age of 0-10 years old. So that's a ton of different sizes and I don't know how big a 5 year old is. We ended up getting some starter outfits from itty bitty baby sizes all the way through outfits that might fit a seven or eight year old.

Looking at the outfits and trying to imagine the little people that will fit into them blows my mind. I can't believe that God is leading us down this path and that later this year there could be a little guy running/crawling/hanging out with us in these little outfits that we picked out today.

When I think about adoption my heart feels good. I konw

First Contact

We attended our first STARS class last Tuesday, the first of nine we are required to take to become foster parents. All people who have helped raise us in some way over the past 25 years will be glad to know that at the completion of this class we will be considered 'Professional Parents,' as we are employed by the state and have been trained to parent. Expect this title to follow the signing of our names in any emails, notes or Christmas cards we may (my wife) or may not (me) send your way.

All joking aside, the class was as interesting as the first class could be. Awkward introductions, quirky instructors who asked you to write your name and something you were proud of on our name cards (gag). "Hi, I'm Jeff and I'm proud of my piano playing abilities." Who says that? When coming up with a list of qualities necessary to form a good discussion group (respect, etc.) our instructor mentioned spelling was not her strong suit as she wrote the first item on the board (commitment). For the second item I suggested spelling. I thought this was clever and also hilarious. I think Laura was thinking other things.

There is a wide variety of people in the class of about 11 looking to foster or adopt. All have different reasons. Some already have children and want to adopt more. Some have children and are unable to have more. Others are looking to start a family through adoption. Some are single, and some are couples, both same and opposite sex. Some are young and some are older. Towards the end of the 3-hour session, people were opening up a little bit more. It was encouraging because I think everyone felt a little unsure of what to expect. And everyone realized that we were all in this together. All learning and asking questions and trying to figure this thing out.

Parenting Class

Part of the process is to take a nine week class. Three hours a week for a total of 27 hours of pre-parenting classes. This is not the "How to" of parenting. We won't go over how to change a diaper or when to go to the doctors but we will be covering more topics that will deal with the emotional well being of the child. Things like Positive reinforcement, building bonded relationships, and dealing with grief and loss will be some of the topics and discussions we will have with other soon to be foster parents. This will be an experience that can help us know where our kiddos are coming from and how to make this transition easier for them and for us. These classes will show us how to utilize our supports and how to survive this thing called parenthood. That starts next week. Some people that I have talked to agree that this class would be helpful for young parents or any parent for that matter. Even though I hated school while I was in it, I am such a learner and I am excited to take this next step. Don't worry I will post any helpful hints that we come across in this class.

Anyway, I feel so blessed by the support and encouragement we have had and continue to get from those around us. People are excited for us and are asking a ton of questions. Keep the questions coming. I want to figure this out too. Much Love!

a labor of love

So the big news is.... Adoption!

Dear Husband and I want to start our family and we feel that adoption is the way to start for us. So this blog is a way to keep family, friends, and others who are interested in the process, up to date on the adventure of finding our children.

A labor of love is a title from one of the husband's previous post from a different blog and I thought it fit with this new adventure. I won't be laboring in a physical way that some of my friends have or will do soon, but we will be laboring in this process of finding our children. Our labor is a labor of love. We will be filling out forms, going through classes, getting background checked, having our references called and grilled, praying, and hoping that our kids are safe right now and are waiting for us to find them. All of this to choose our kiddos. We choose them because we love them. Sort of like God choosing us because he loved us.

Below are some common questions that have been asked by others in our lives that you might be asking right now.

1. "L and J, where are you adopting from?"

Well good question, we are adopting domestically and we are going through the state of Missouri to start our process. This means that we will be adopting an American born kiddo that may or may not be the same race as us.

2. "Who are you wanting to adopt?"

When we talk about our family the vision in both our heads has been one full of boys. We feel like boys are on our hearts and that we should search for our son/s. We are open to the idea of adopting sibling sets. Sibling sets are the hardest to adopt because most people want to adopt one at a time. We think that it would be awesome if God had a set of brothers that were waiting on us. God has the details we just have ideas.

3. "Why adoption?"

There will probably be many posts about this very question of why adoption. For us we have the luxury of choosing adoption. This isn't a last attempt to create a family. It's not that we can't get pregnant or that we have some physical issue that keeps us from creating our own. For us, it's a choice. It means we choose to love a child. It means we choose to have our family look like this. We choose to take in a child, who has weathered more than you and I, and we choose to raise this child. To love this child. To provide, to encourage, to guide, to spoil, to teach soccer to, to watch them grow, to introduce them to grandmas and Mimi's and aunts and uncles. To bring them into a family that loves them for who they are. To show them support that never ends. Adoption for us is a choice.

So that's our news. Keep checking back to see how our labor of love is going.

That's all for now!