Grief and Loss

Last night in class we went over grief and loss management.  We learned that we have to be the loss managers for these little guys.  We need to help them handle their emotions, deal with their losses and learn how to carry on. I feel like I could use a loss manager myself sometimes.

In one year I've lost three close people to me and through those losses I learn more about myself and about God.  I've lost grandma Betty, my dad and most recently my friend and boss Denise.  These losses are all different in their own way, expected, unexpected, ready to let go, didn't think it could happen, and not quite ready to let go. But through all of this I know that God is good. I don't know what that means but I know that to be truth.

When Grandma Betty passed away it was a relief of sorts. We had dealt with early Alzheimer's and the sadness of her forgetting who we were.  It was good for God to give us the peace of knowing that Betty lived a good life and a life for God.

When Dad died... I still am not sure how or why but I survived thanks to the support I have in my family and friends

With Denise, cancer sucks. It's not fair for a husband to lose his wife to cancer after twenty some odd years of devoted marriage to each other. It's not fair for an agency to lose a cornerstone to cancer after 25 years of service.  I know that Denise died with dignity.

My conclusion is that everyone suffers lose and grief in the form of death, separation, broken relationships, un-kept promises, infertility, and other ways.  I know that this is not part of THE plan. God did not intend for our world to be full of so much pain and suffering.  I know that, like a good father, He hurts when I hurt. I know that He is good.

I will cling to that. I will follow that and try, like Betty, Dad and Denise, I will try to live my life well.  I will try to love unconditionally, to give openly, to trust God and trust my husband.  I will honor my family, be true to myself, and be free to love and to be loved.  I hope that I can be half of a parent that my dad was.