Man trainings are exhausting. I wish we could skip the whole process but bit by bit we are moving forward. One small step bit by bit. We have another large training in November and then maybe we will be closer? Hope so.
The new job is awesome. I feel so relaxed and at rest. Its such a nice feeling. We are doing well.
So I just passed the one year mark of Dad dying and well I am doing better than expected. Some people said you never feel the same. Well, I feel good and I know that its because my dad raised me in a way where I never had to doubt his unfailing support and love. Dad was always encouraging me to be adventurous and to chase my dreams and I feel that even with him gone (that still feels strange to say) I can still feel his encouragement and his guidance. Dad left behind 2 strong willed individual daughters and we can and will move on with our lives. Dad would want me too. My dad loved his life (hated his job, that's why I know he would want me to work in something I would love). He enjoyed laughing, his hobbies, and spending time relaxing. I take after dad that way, with the strange humor, the laughing and doing fun things I enjoy like soccer, working with muttface, and being with people (I love people, even though I am awkward at first). Dad taught me to spend quality time on the things or people you care about. He taught me how to make things and relationships last by paying attention, doing more proactive things, and by spending time with the person or thing. My dad was kind, caring, and hilarious. He found pure joy in embarrassing us girls but we eventually grew to love it and now I miss it. He would fart loudly in an aisle in the store and then say "laura marie..." I would squeal at him and leave the scene.
All of that rambling, ugh sorry about that. I will end it with this, I love my dad and I miss him everyday. I want to raise strong self confident individuals that even when I am gone they can keep going. Love you dad
We love this city. Portland has a ton of things to offer to it's residents and guests. We ate like Gluten Free kings all week. Our favorites were Sellwood Pizza Kitchen and Pastini Pasteria. Both had extensive gluten free menus & everything was tasty.
This trip came right at the 1 year mark for me living sans papa bear and I have learned that no matter how long you have with someone is never long enough and that my dad still influences my day. Everything he taught me, every little habit he had, certain smells, all of it daily makes me think of him and who he was. It also makes me want to live to be the daughter he can be proud of. Portland was great that I was able to celebrate Dad's life in small ways. For example, we went to a classic car show, that's totally a dad thing. I ate steamers at a seafood cafe and the last time I did that was years ago when I was little with Dad. Portland had so many good dads playing in the fountians or on the play ground with their kids it made me remember how my dad always ended up doing kid things with us. He never grew too old to play or have fun with us. Jeff and I can't wait to be those parents that take the different ways we were raised and have our own family.
I am so thankful that I got to talk to my dad about this adoption thing. I am thankful to know that he was proud. Encouraging. Supportive.
Can't believe it's been a year already.
