Since the last post, I almost thought "to hell with it" and deleted this blog because really an adoption story has some long boring parts. This is one of them.
Right now we are still looking through profiles and case workers are looking at ours. We've requested information on some kids but that doesn't really mean anything.
Life is throwing some curve balls at me and if you know me you know that I am a planner. I have this ever growing time line in my head of when I expect things to be started and accomplished. This time line includes trips, house projects, adventures and many other activities. But right now me and my time line are in limbo.
I applied for tech school and am waiting to hear back from them. We asked for information on kids and we are waiting to hear back from them. Jeff's job might move him out of state for a while and we are waiting to hear about that. All this waiting and I can't make any plans.
I can't plan on knowing that if in 4 months I will start school with Jeff and a possible kid or completely by myself. I can't plan on if I need to look at daycare or early education assistance from Raytown or if I should just focus on my classes now.
I have no idea how this will all work out or what my family will look like in four months and it drives me nuts. This post might seem scattered because that's how my head feels, scrambled, scattered and anxious. I've been trying to focus on others to not get so caught up in this scrambledness but I am like my mother in this way where I tend to let my emotions rule. Pray for me. Pray for Jeff as he figures out how to love me through this.
Right now we are still looking through profiles and case workers are looking at ours. We've requested information on some kids but that doesn't really mean anything.
Life is throwing some curve balls at me and if you know me you know that I am a planner. I have this ever growing time line in my head of when I expect things to be started and accomplished. This time line includes trips, house projects, adventures and many other activities. But right now me and my time line are in limbo.
I applied for tech school and am waiting to hear back from them. We asked for information on kids and we are waiting to hear back from them. Jeff's job might move him out of state for a while and we are waiting to hear about that. All this waiting and I can't make any plans.
I can't plan on knowing that if in 4 months I will start school with Jeff and a possible kid or completely by myself. I can't plan on if I need to look at daycare or early education assistance from Raytown or if I should just focus on my classes now.
I have no idea how this will all work out or what my family will look like in four months and it drives me nuts. This post might seem scattered because that's how my head feels, scrambled, scattered and anxious. I've been trying to focus on others to not get so caught up in this scrambledness but I am like my mother in this way where I tend to let my emotions rule. Pray for me. Pray for Jeff as he figures out how to love me through this.
Oh, Laura, I am sorry you are feeling anxiety about the unknown, but let me tell you...THIS IS WHERE GOD WORKS!! This is where He does his thing and blesses your pants off! Be still and know that He is taking care of every little detail. When you feel anxious, immerse yourself in prayer and thanksgiving. He's going to do big things in the future for you...I can feel it. Praying for you, girl!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm glad you didn't say "to hell with it" because I love reading your posts!!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI love reading your updates, I keep dad posted on your story! I know it's easier said than done, trust me, but just settle down! Things always work out the way they are supposed to, even if we can't see it or understand it right now. You are a better person than I, simply for taking on all that you have. You guys are always in our thoughts, and I'll say an extra prayer for you. You guys are amazing, your dad would be SO proud!!!! We love you!!!