O my goodness

At church this past week they talked about Mother's and Ryan, our pastor, read this poem that talked about all types of mothers, including adoptive.  It made me excited to be a part of some kiddo's life.  But as Jeff and I talked about this whole adoption process we feel that we are in the second part of three in finding our kid.  The first part was signing up, taking the classes, and getting the home study done.  Now, the second part, is searching, searching, searching.

This is what makes domestic adoption out of foster care so unique.  We have to search through each state's kids that are available for adoption and find ours.  It's so heart breaking to see all of the children with special needs, with sibling groups, with other issues that we don't know if we could handle.  Last night I saw a family of 8 kids up for adoption.  Could you imagine adopting 8 children at once? Having to help each child adjust to you and your husband while you learn how to adjust to them?  Oh my goodness. We are trying to search a little each night. But it seems impossible.  We sit at the computer, read through a 2 paragraph bio of this kid that has gone through hell and back and then what?  Are we supposed to be drawn to the picture?  Is there supposed to be an instant connection after reading the bio that we feel "This is the one"?  Do we say we are interested in a bunch of different kids and then move from there?

I feel completely lost on what to do next.  I look at the kids and seven out of ten of them I think "Maybe he's ours, or him or maybe that one".  I guess we just push the button that says we are interested and see what happens next.  This part of the process could be long, unending, overwhelming, and have many twists and turns in it.  Be patient with us. Be prayerful with us.